| The cradle will rock out!! |
[18 May 2008|02:02am] |
If you've never seen or read When The Wind Blows, you ought to. I don't want to say that watching two old people die slowly of radiation poisoning is something that everyone should do, but it's a pretty sobering movie overall.
The film's tone contrasts with the music video David Bowie put together for the film's title song. Oh, 1986. Even when you were trying to be serious, you just couldn't help being 1986.
No, you're not drunk or high. David Bowie actually superimposed his face in a mushroom cloud. When you're a performer, isn't that sort of thing tempting fate? Sort of like walking on a high fence with lakes of barracudas on either side?
Bonus: Japanese man speaking excitedly at the end of the video.
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| Korova: Half-price for bald and toothless customers |
[15 May 2008|11:44pm] |
I decided I wanted some warm milk to sip on before bed, but I wasn't sure how long I should nuke it for. I found directions easily enough on Google. I even found a really delicious-looking recipe that adds sugar, vanilla and nutmeg. The name of the recipe is a little unfortunate, though: "Mom's Warm Milk."
Speaking of innuendo, Udon's translation of Mega Man Zero: Official Complete Works is ready to tear into you like a unicorn stallion in heat. This shit is real, very real, and highly exciting.
Look! A cover!
The beauty thing about that image is that Copy X is about to kick Zero right in his fucking head.
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| HEXPENSIVE TEA |
[14 May 2008|03:33pm] |
$1.51 for a bloody cup of tea! Jesus Christ Second Cup, you pack of coffee-swilling pirates. Not that long ago it was $1.10.
I haven't settled down in this particular shoppe to drink and write in a long time. I think I remember why (one-fucking-fifty-one tea not withstanding). It's the middle of the day and this place is mobbed for no particular reason. Mobbed, loud and suffering from a bad layout thanks to a Home Depot renovation.
But I still have good memories of this place; slowly drawing up chapter after chapter of failed novel attempts and instances where I got a little luckier. Fanfics,last-minute projects, cup after cup of vanilla tea (which is admittedly still delicious).
It's a little quieter now. Maybe I'll stop, y'know, wasting time and do something about it.
PS, I've been terrible about keeping up with my published work, particularly manga reviews...again. I'll be back later to assault you all with links.
(I'm on a sketchy unlocked wireless connection because I'm not paying eight bucks an hour for Second Cup's extra frothy hip Internet they can all kiss the bum of this Royal Canadian pissed off cheap Irish Jew bitch.)
HEY KIDS SCREAMING THE ALPHABET OVER BY THE COUNTER, you're not as cute as your mother thinks you are.
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| Take your mother snowboarding |
[11 May 2008|11:31pm] |
I have an article of significant length in the May edition of Playstation: The Official Magazine. Please read it. It's totally not a baited trap I'm going to use to siphon your life energy from your eyeballs.
Just so you fall into the right pit read the right story, it's the one about Shaun White Snowboarding. I visited Ubisoft, talked to cool people and pet a Labrador puppy that had gigantic paws.
The night I arrived in Montreal, I ordered room service and totally didn't have to pay for the best goddamn tomato soup I've ever eaten. Easily the highlight of my life.
Happy Mother's Day!
To all Mothers.
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| Router, rather. |
[10 May 2008|03:33pm] |
I haven't had to enter my router settings for a dog's age and...well, I can't remember the user name or password. I must've set it to something, because plain old "admin" doesn't work.
Any insight?
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| On today's edition of LOL WTF... |
[08 May 2008|11:27am] |
Paris Hilton might be getting her own reality TV show about dog grooming!
(Until she gets bored with it and wanders off to snort coke off the ass of her latest ill-bred chihuahua puppy.)
No, really, I'm 100% behind this. Not only would I tune in to watch the Princess of Hotel California squeeze the anal glands of an irate Mastiff, I would pay good money for the opportunity.
In my soul, I know that'll never happen. If she can pick up a Zoom Groom without cutting her hand open and bleeding to death, it'll be all that she can do and more than I expect of her.
Now, let's talk about shows that are actually worth turning on the television for.
REBOOT REBOOT REBOOT REBOOT.
If some twisted circumstance prevents this from airing on YTV, it would be funny in an ironic sense.
But I wouldn't be laughing because I'd be dead of a broken heart.
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| Your hour is up, now fuck off. |
[05 May 2008|05:47pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Hollowpoint Sniper Hyperbollocks |
] |
WHO MAKES OUT IN A LIBRARY STUDY BOOTH.
HONESTLY.
Edit: Thanks for cutting out half of Neighbourhood #3, 102.1. That'll teach me for deciding to listen to the radio again.
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| IIII Ammmm Your Premature Induction Into Adulthood |
[04 May 2008|11:12am] |
Yesterday was David's birthday and we saw IIIIIRON MAAAN. It was good, though I wish there'd been less engineering and more giant robot-men fighting against one another holy shit that was rad.
We caught a six-thirty showing in hopes the theatre would be less crowded. lolz! It was packed to the gills, but interestingly, the demographic was different; the theatre was swarming with kids. Little chattering, seat-climbing diaper squirrels who couldn't have been older than four.
Granted, I don't mind. I would rather be sandwiched between children than teenagers with cellphones ignited through the whole picture, but I do have to wonder why parents think their toddler is going to appreciate a movie full of very loud noises and startling imagery. Everyone is capable of parroting "Oh noes, desensitisation!" thanks to the latest media scare-report about Grand Theft Auto, but taking a very young kid to a violent action movie is a good idea?
True, Ironman isn't terribly violent, but a kid used to Blues Clues and Sesame Street might be jarred by the contrast. A teen who's thirteen or fourteen shouldn't be playing Grand Theft Auto IV, but by that age he's sneaked into some violent movies. He's seen what goes on in the world because he watches or reads the news, God forbid. Stealing cars and shit in a video game probably isn't going to break his world to the point that he'll be kept awake with nightmares and/or wondering what would drive people to commit such acts. He knows it's a game that reflects the less pleasant aspects of life.
What's a four-year-old supposed to think about terrorism or shit blowing up or blood, bullets and the engineering of a rocket-suit? The one seated beside me was wide-eyed with confusion through the whole thing--except when the pace slowed and he was babbling endless questions to his father who just told him to shut up and sit down. Congratulations kid, you've recieved a hell of an initiation into the general chaos of life. It would have been better to ease your way in with, I don't know, the Care Bears Movie or something, but nobody instructed your parents to be scared of big loud action movies.
Note: The situation is entirely different if a kid is old enough to recognise and revere a superhero. I remember when we saw Spiderman 3, we were seated beside a terribly excited little kid who was telling us all about how he loved Spiderman, and he got to miss school to see the movie and his parents were going to buy him the video game, etc. The best part is that his name was Thor, and he was a tiny pikasheen with glasses.
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| The Unforgiving Tree has an axe |
[30 Apr 2008|10:57pm] |
I'm getting old. I don't feel old in the least, especially since I'm currently suffering a breakout of acne, but I can't ignore the obvious signs: Everything I grew up with is apparently harmful to the current generation.
In today's edition, we look at The Giving Tree: Beautiful story of selfless love, or a cruel tale of a wretched boy that steals words like "Please" and "Thank you" from the mouth of babes?
Maybe I just don't have the frame of mind needed to blast children's books, but I never inserted myself into The Giving Tree. I don't think I was supposed to. I sat outside of the story and noted how exceptionally sad it was, not for the wicked, selfish boy or the co-dependent sucker of a tree, but for both of them.
It's a metaphor for parenthood, obviously: At the start of the book, the boy loves the tree, and the tree loves the boy. The boy grows apart from the tree and turns into a freeloading punk because guess what, we grow away from our parents. Regardless, our parents still think about us and hope we're not in a ditch dying of pneumonia because that's what makes them parents. Who do we truly turn to when we need help? It's so hard to tell a caring parent "thank you" without it sounding like a Hallmark poem. That's why we never do it. We just take it for granted that they'll pick up on our love-vibes through intuition.*
In the end, the tree and the boy come to a silent compromise of emotions. Know why the boy doesn't say "I'm sorry" to the tree as they both slowly fade away together? Because then the story would suck a dick.
I know it's scary to believe that kids are capable of drawing their own conclusions without having Dora the Explorer shout the solution directly at them, but The Giving Tree probably won't turn them into delinquents who will spit on Mother's Day.
Other potential offenders that you should stack in a pile and burn according to the linked blog and its visitors: "Love You Forever" and "Guess How Much I Love You." The latter "belittles the little rabbit's love for his father" and the former apparently encourages stalking.
Oh God, why am I on this planet. How did I wrong thee.
*"[I]f I were in America, I could say, ‘I love you, Dad,' the way they do in the films. But you can't say that in Limerick for fear you might be laughed at. You're allowed to say you love God and babies and horses that win. But anything else is a softness in the head." -- Frank McCourt
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| The World Ends Because I Sulk. |
[28 Apr 2008|04:55pm] |
With the weather change comes whatever the fuck it is that makes immune systems go on strike. In an epic match of germ hockey, David's recovering from his bronchitis and I'm coming down with the Lord knows what.
But there is good on this Earth. Like "The World Ends With You" for the DS surprising me by being about seven kinds of great.
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| Lyrics courtesy of Mad Magazine. |
[26 Apr 2008|01:00am] |
Yeah I hope none of you Toronto peeps who went out tonight via public transit really wanted to go home or anything silly like that.
The people on the street wait for the bus
For the bus
No damn bus!
The Mayor's got a limo,
To hell with us!
All through town.
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| Vaccination Scar |
[24 Apr 2008|10:20pm] |
I was reading an article earlier today about the return of childhood diseases. Apparently several bugs, including measles, have returned to say "'SUP" because some new parents don't believe in vaccinations.
I propose a game show called "Take THAT, Modern Society." The object is to be suspicious of anything accessible that increases your standard of living, with a particular focus on the current fad of mistrusting western medicine.
The pilot episode will feature the Joneses' steadfast refusal to get their baby inoculated because the Smiths aren't doing it either. Which infant will contract meningitis first? Tune in once I pitch this shit to Fox, get rich and sail away in my golden pirate ship.
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| Mushishi Stew |
[22 Apr 2008|07:45pm] |
I am cooking a Hungarian goulash.
I am relatively satisfied with the results, though three rules must be acknowledged:
1) I will never cook it as well as my mother
2) Or my grandmother
3) Kosher meat, which I am not using, tastes so much better.
Earlier this afternoon I had a dream in which volume three of Mushishi revealed that Ginko has mother issues. Apparently she used to dress him up in pink frilly dresses.
Only my subconscious knows for sure.
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| Apathy Note |
[21 Apr 2008|04:48pm] |
I'm on the second draft of my novel. It's outlined (as much as I am capable of outlining). It has a beginning and an end. And I've barely written any of it.
The problem is that I feel guilty when I work on my novel when I have work-writing to do. Thing is, I always have work to do, and by the time I clear a big project I think to myself, "WOW, FUCK WRITING FOREVER!", and I don't get anything done.
So I've decided that I'm going to take at least an hour for myself every day. I'm going to tell my guilty conscience to shut the hell up, and I'm going to write my novel and/or fanfic. Otherwise, neither will be done before the second coming of Christ.
Speaking of fanfic, I was looking through an old laptop the other day and I found the start of a fanfic I'd written in two thousand and bloody two about Andrew from Megaman Zero. And it wasn't poisonous. I'd like very much to finish it.
PS, sorry I've been bad about responding to comments. The Earthbound thread was a lot of fun to read.
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| Passover the dutchie on the left hand side |
[18 Apr 2008|03:27pm] |
*Chametz = Bread, bread products that are forbidden on Passover. Traditionally you burn them the night before Passover begins. Unless you're me, and therefore a bad Jew.
Hallucinogenics are kosher for Passover. Just don't chase them with pizza or corn syrup. Consult your Rabbi for details.
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| Mother Bounder |
[17 Apr 2008|12:58am] |
Everybody existing today knows that Earthbound was one of the most brilliant RPGs for the Super Nintendo. Nobody knew it twelve years ago, when it counted. I blame Nintendo entirely for Earthbound's failure. The ad campaign they had for the game should be required reading in the "NO! DON'T DO THIS!" unit for marketing students: It was juvenile and had a special emphasis on fart jokes and cheese and other things that had nothing to do with one of the most emotionally-involving RPGs of all time. I thought I was pretty hot shit in 1996. Final Fantasy VI had me believing that angst was the only acceptable basis for a moving plot. I wasn't interested in farts and poops.
I'll fess up here and now: Though I now realise what an amazing piece of work Earthbound/Mother is, I really don't find the game to be very much fun. That doesn't mean the game isn't fun, mind you. The battle system is deceptively complex and I just never mastered it. Others have. It's merely my own failing.
It's also a shame I suck so bad because the series has a unique atmosphere that everyone needs to experience. Only Earthbound feels like Earthbound. That is to say, there's sunshine and green grass and characters with funny names but holy shit it's close to midnight and something evil's a-lurkin' through the dark. I love games, shows and novels that blindside you like that. Mega Man Legends does it very well, as does Chrono Trigger, Fruits Basket and--oh hell I don't know, Animorphs. Ness is also the most human RPG hero to wield a bat: He never talks, but he still has to call his mom once in a while or he'll get homesick and tire of the journey. Such a small detail, but it turns my heart into mush.
Earthbound probably tops everything in the cute-to-creepy department thanks to the final battle with Giygas. Giygas is the embodiment of evil. Big deal, so's every damn villain ever. But no, Giygas really is the embodiment of evil. He has no solid form; he drifts and undulates in the background. He speaks in broken sentences. His ethereal nature is the basis for one of the freakiest final RPG battles I've ever witnessed (thank you age of Youtube). There's a reason why Giygas moves and speaks like something from a nightmare:
In an interview on his website, [Earthbound creator] Itoi describes how his inspiration for the final battle with Giygas resulted from a traumatic childhood event. When Itoi was a young boy, he accidentally viewed the wrong movie at a theater, a Shintōhō film entitled The Military Policeman and the Dismembered Beauty. The film features a graphic rape scene near a river that traumatized Itoi so much that his parents began to worry about his wellbeing. Years later, Itoi integrated the experience into Giygas' dialogue for the final battle.
This explains much. Earthbound! Fun and funny! Inspired by violent rape.
It's kind of wild how we have gazillion-gig games nowadays with multi-headed baddies who drip poison from their anuses and scream OOGIE BOOGIE, but they're so easily outdone by a drifting 16-bit background and eerily suitable "music."
Giygas Battle Part One!
Giygas Battle Part Two!
In my day, final boss battles never lasted less than half an hour, harumph harumph.
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[13 Apr 2008|03:10pm] |
Welcome to NadiaVille
Population: Me
15 years without puking
1 day without puking
Someone in charge of Life decided that travelling to North Carolina to attend the memorial of David's deceased mother wasn't taxing enough. We both got some bad food poisoning on Saturday. Couldn't stand up for the better part of 24 hours. Had to leave the memorial service about an hour in, which I feel terrible about.
Bit better now, but pretty weak and dizzy.
Oh Chick-Fil-A. Why did you hurt me?
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| Pass the Port |
[09 Apr 2008|01:21pm] |
Holy poop, talk about cutting things close. We're flying out to North Carolina tomorrow, and my passport only arrived today.
I look like (black-haired) Gerard Way in the photograph, especially since I wasn't allowed to smile.
Oh, the very first page has a very nice request addressed to all surly border agents:
"The Minister or Foreign Affairs of Canada requests, in the name of Her Majesty the Queen, all those whom it may concern to allow the bearer to pass freely without let and hindrance and to afford the bearer such assistance and protection as may be necessary."
I checked David's American passport for a similar request, and sure enough there was one. The wording was a little different, though:
"Move, bitch
Get out the way
Get out the way, bitch
Get out the way."
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[04 Apr 2008|07:20am] |
The desktop computer won't start. We keep getting an error screen that says system32/Drivers/isapnp.sys is corrupt.
I've tried going to a few sites to get instructions on fixing it, but everything's in jargon.
I don't have a Windows XP CD. Any options aside from nuking everything (which would be hard to do without an XP CD anyway)?
The timing on this really could've been better.
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| Disclaimer: Not an April Fools joke. |
[02 Apr 2008|01:09pm] |
This will be old news to a few of you who had the news delivered via Pony Express, and offered very kind and appreciated sympathies.
Basically, there's a bit of a sitty-ation ("situation," as pronounced by Cotton Hill) going on in our lives right now. David's mom passed away on Monday. The small mercy is that it was likely quick and relatively painless: The people in charge of determining these matters have cited an aneurysm as the cause.
Things are a little up in the air at the moment. We'll be heading down south ASAP. Both of us are keeping it together and remain relatively sane.
Those of you who recognise me through certain message boards will likely see me on a sporadic basis for a little while. Time is limited (I still have deadlines, sigh) and...I don't feel much like posting happy chatter, to be honest.
I did receive my borrowed copy of Suikoden III from one TT'er in particular, and I'm grateful for it. I would like some time to just sit and mope on the couch with Geddoe.
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| Music is my aeroplane |
[31 Mar 2008|11:27pm] |
I have returned from a 24 hour bizznizz trip to Montreal.
Things I learned:
--Unlike Toronto, Montreal's infrastructure disavows any connection to the Royal Family. No King Street, no Queen Street, no King's Highways. No Queen Elizabeth Ways or Prince Edward Viaducts or Princess Margaret Hospitals.
(One fellow I spent the day with remarked, "But there sure are a lot of Saints.")
--I have the utmost respect for Montreal citizens because most of them are truly bilingual and did not knife me for being an ignorant anglolphone who left her French behind in grade 10.
--But I did feel my French catching up to me by the end of my visit.
--WestJet wouldn't let me listen to my iPod or play my DS during takeoff or final approach. Problem is, if you're flying from Toronto to Montreal, the entire trip is either takeoff or final approach.
--Mega Man Star Force could stand to be less frustrating.
--Jesus Christ I'm going to bed.
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| This is why I didn't have friends growing up |
[29 Mar 2008|12:05pm] |
I have a lot of work to do (because weekends are for relaxing, you know), including a couple of game reviews. Problem is, I'm terribly distracted by The Cider House Rules.
I actually said to myself, "Put down the book and play some god damn video games."
In exciting news, I applied for a passport finally, and I experienced a related triumph when I took the application in to be processed. Since I filled out the application online, I got to skip the two-hour wait period. Like, all of it. The longest wait was for pre-screening, whereat Rhadamanthys, Minos and Aiakos judged my passport photo suitably horrible enough to advance to an Elysian kiosk woman. She took up ten minutes of my time, and then I ran away from that room packed with waiting, shuffling men and squalling babies. I ate food court pho to celebrate.
The moral of the story: If you need your passport, fill out the application online.
Then eat pho.
I haven't been able to maintain consistent contact with anyone at 1UP lately, so I was surprised to learn that my latest feature came to life. People seem to really like this one, which makes me glow. I also love the banner art. Chrono Trigger is delicious.
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| My novel has CLASS. |
[25 Mar 2008|03:08pm] |
Caillou stood up too quickly as his father came closer. He distanced himself from the instinctive act of reverence by growling, “I took a leak in your flower garden.”
“Oh.” Jake glanced at the impatiens locked in the hard dirt and tried not to think about how happy and refreshed the flowers looked. “Well, they're mostly dead anyway.”
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| FEE: Fire Emblem Effect |
[23 Mar 2008|10:49am] |
 Most Fire Emblem characters are inspired by the Big Book of Boring Anime Design (Kawaii Desu Edition): Hair that comes in shades of whoa, piercing Mary Sue eyes, flawless bishounen skin, ability to heft legendary weapons with ease. In other words, the stuff I ignore in favour of actual human characteristics.
How, then, do Fire Emblem's males always manage to be smokin' hot?
The Lords aren't much to write home about (I'd jump Ike; he's a commoner), but the thieves, assassins and myrmidons are totally sssszz. Joshua from Sacred Stones? Yes plz.
...So this means I really like Fire Emblem's slum-dwellers and dogs of war. Oh dear.
Edit: If you look at that pic of Ike there, he has one sleeve rolled up and the other one torn right off. What profound symbolism is Nintendo trying for? Maybe it's a sombre memoir from a life-altering battle that he just cannot erase from his mind's eye--
 "Actually, I just don't have any talent for charging subway doors."
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| "OP here, if anyone needs me I'll be on Gaia." |
[21 Mar 2008|08:48am] |
 "Let's have a day of silence to protest Livejournal's decision to put banner ads on our ten dozen Death Note RP journals. It's easier than doing anything about the situation in Tibet."
...
...
 "How long was that?"
"Six seconds."
"Do we have to start over?"
"Hell no."
(Sensible Thoughts by Jack Handy.)
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| Pan drippings. |
[17 Mar 2008|02:56pm] |
Reading my writing helps you help me help us all.
Gamepro Review:
Naruto: Ninja Destiny.
For years I've written game-related features, which is a pretty safe occupation. You do get people telling you "You forgot to mention Chun-Li's bastard half sister" when you put together a fifty-thousand word retrospective, and God help anyone who writes a "Best Of" list. Still, the real notoriety in the field of ***New Games Journalism*** lies within reviews. Now I have taken the necessary step to earn the scorn of fans and developers.
Column:
Anime and the Holocaust
Anime Music Videos: Doing It Right
Manga Reviews:
Deja Vu
In the End
Alive vol 3
Devil's Bride
Dark Metro
Tokyo Pet Shop of Horrors
Arab in America
Fairy Tail
Nadia collapses from exhaustion: Link not available.
Sidenote: The fighting game genre already has one bastard half-sister outcast, and that would be Ayane from DOA. One's enough.
Sidenote II: Please visit my little PSMonger blog. Hits are down this month. :(
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| The chicken is unimpressed. |
[16 Mar 2008|04:55pm] |
You Final Fantasy pansies can keep your Masamunes, Atma weapons and ten-minute Bahamut summons. I've already pledged allegiance to Yangus' Underpants Dance from DragonQuest VIII.
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| Snow Patrol |
[15 Mar 2008|04:47pm] |
I must be in a desperate way altogether if I'm following a local weatherman's blog. But it looks like it's going to remain snowy and cold all the way up through April.
A fellow just off the plane from Israel recently asked me now in God's name I could stand this climate. It's true this winter has been horrible, but if I were to move somewhere perpetually warm, I would miss spring with a frenzy. Nothing else makes you appreciate the rejuvenation of life like living on top of dead things for months at a time.
It's like flogging yourself simply because it feels good when you stop.
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| Sustainance Rant |
[12 Mar 2008|07:24pm] |
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pirochan made an excellent post (and I hope she doesn't mind me linking to it D:) regarding certain food celebrities being drunk on their own influence.
I enjoy cooking and I'm pretty capable of making tasty meals that won't poison you, but I also have a tendency to stick to the basics. Much of what I cook has a Hungarian flair thanks to recipes passed from an authentic Hungarian woman (my grandmother) to an Irish woman (mom) to me (aspiring bear-unicorn hybrid). Woe to the stew or meat that does not have a significant sprinkling of paprika. No, really, that shit had better be as red as a demon's ass.
The thing is, when I do use a recipe, I give it a quick scan to make sure I don't have to include horse testicles, then I discard everything else and fly by the seat of my pants. This means I pay even less attention to foodie celebs. I know little about the big names out there. I do recall the Urban Peasant, a soft-spoken British(?) fellow who had his own show on TVOntario when I was a sprout. He's long since retired, though I went to school with a boy who swore the Urban Peasant was taken off the air because of a breakdown. According to this kid, the Peasant presented a dish to the audience and asked,"Do you want to know what this tastes like?" before allegedly whipping out his dick and screaming, "It tastes like this!"
Nevermind that his show wasn't live and didn't have a studio audience.
...back to the original point of this post.
I don't know much about Delia Smith, but even being the basic chef that I am, I'm very uncomfortable with her endless endorsement for boxed, bagged and tinned food. This woman acknowledges that we're all pressed for time, so we must take whatever shortcuts we can to make meals. Even if it means throwing a frozen entree into the oven and calling it our own. What's she paid for, again?
First of all, I don't think our turning into a world of fatasses can be blamed strictly on fast food and vidya games. I place just as much blame on the fact that we've convinced ourselves that we're just so stressed and there's just no time to eat right anymore, so let's all bolt down our sodium-packed packaged dinners and drive off to hockey practise with sour stomachs. It's called a crock pot. Invest in one. It's called family meal time. Sit down and do it. If it means missing an hour of TV, God forgive me for even suggesting it, but I stick to my guns.
There are ways to defrost meat quickly. I can cook lamb and potatoes in half an hour, easy. Real lamb, real potatoes. If I'm pressed for time, I mash the potato skins too. They're good for you.
I take shortcuts, too. I baste my lamb with HP sauce or something else that's pre-mixed. Sometimes I boil up a package of flavoured rice or faux potatoes if I don't feel like boiling something real. But I don't understand why anyone would suggest canned mince in the place of real ground hamburger, which fries up in absolutely no time.
(Oh yeah, endorsements.)
Still, if you're going to make an easy dish like shepherd's pie, it's worth the extra twenty, thirty minutes to use fresh meat and potatoes. If I ever decided, "I'm going to make a shepherd's pie with canned meat(!!) and frozen potatoes(!!!!!), I'd just buy a pre-made one at the store and pop it in.
And there's nothing wrong with even doing that once in a while. I just wouldn't expect a whole lot of nutritional value to be there.
This uncharacteristic foody rant of mine doesn't even factor in the battery chicken debate (see Pirochan's post for some awesome extensive insight), but I would like to buy organic free-range if I ever had the chance. Unfortunately, there's not much demand for products from Hippie Inc in a hasidic Jewish area. Lots of Kosher stuff, of course, which is high in quality but I don't think the animals are free range. I'm a meat eater and solidly convinced that certain animals are good to nosh on, but I think it's fair to let my chicken dinner live a semblance of a good life before going under the axe.
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| The Necessary Adventure |
[12 Mar 2008|06:49am] |
Once upon a time there was a girl named Nadia who was getting used to her wee new Asus laptop. It was a very cute and cuddly laptop but the keyboard was surely fashioned for pixies. So Nadia decided it was time to get used to this teensy new keyboard regardless of who she'd have to kill to do so.
Nadia went out into the crisp March sunset and took a bat to an old woman walking some godforsaken Yorkie-poodle hybrid. The crone's blood steamed as Nadia hid the body, and that was a nice effect except it didn't solve her keyboard dilemma. In fact, her sacrifice to Thor made things worse, because now her fingertips were all slippery and left nasty crimson fingerprints on her pearly keyboard.
Nadia was a little frustrated but then she realised that she was slowly getting better with her laptop's keyboard as she typed more and more. This suited Nadia well because suddenly she wanted some chicken soup and a nap more than anything else in the world.
THE END.
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| It's true you sold your guitar and bought a napkin |
[11 Mar 2008|11:10am] |
This is currently the greatest thing on the Internet, and it shall remain so until I have turned into dust:
Sidenote. I haven't had time to add new Smash codes yet, but gosh darnit, I shall!
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| Let's Get Ready to Smash Shit |
[09 Mar 2008|09:31pm] |
If you want to do the Smash Bros Brawl thing with us, which is cool with all the kids these days:
3050-7266-6640
Profile name: Draco
I'm going to scour my flist and add people, so if you put up your number already, good for you! If not, God will punish you.
Edit: Damn shit piss, I had the wrong code up initially. It's fixed now.
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| How about SNOW EXPLORER |
[08 Mar 2008|08:28pm] |
So we're leaving in about an hour to pick up Smash Bros Brawl.
Anyone who lives in or within a seventy thousand mile radius of Toronto knows why this venture is fucking insane.
When you send the Saint Bernards, stock the pooches up on some Canadian. I'm not big into brandy.
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| I'm a computer |
[05 Mar 2008|09:07am] |
A DECISION:
I'm buying an ASUS EEE 4G. I desperately need a new laptop, and this is exactly what I want. It's perfectly affordable, too.
I do have a very dumb question for the thousands of computer geeks out there who are far smarter than me:
I know the original operating system is Linux-based, but can I still open Microsoft Word documents?
I might install that stripped-down version of XP that I've been hearing about, but I'd like to try my hand at something running on Linux.
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| Cat-Like Scanning Detected |
[04 Mar 2008|12:36pm] |
I was scanning some stuff for work, and Cammy hopped on the scanner to investigate. I gave her a technical demonstration:
Semi-related: When I uploaded the photo, I noticed Photobucket is covered with ads for 101 Dalmatians. The site is spotted with the ads, you might say. Or, to use the relevant computer graphic vernacular, skinned.
The initial popularity of Disney's 101 Dalmatians destroyed the breed a thousand years ago, so I'm wondering to what degree the DVD release will further decimate it. The owners of puppy mills might be useless at raising dogs with compassion and care, but they sure are up-to-the-minute on media trends. The wretched petstore I used to work at thrives on breed hype. If they're not stocking dozens of dalmatians (with worms and fleas into one tiny cage) already, I'll eat my hat.
The summer I worked there was the same summer that stupid Taco Bell chihuahua made our lives miserable. When the commercials took off, the store immediately stocked chihuahuas; Superman could not have delivered them faster. The display window even had a little sign that said, "I think I need a bigger box." The profound wit induced squeals of delight from the stork-bodied princesses hanging off the arms of their drug-hazed boyfriends, who would then dutifully reach for their wallets. Good times!
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| Almost as screwy as a Jews for Jesus Bar Mitzvah. |
[04 Mar 2008|09:15am] |
Wow, I'd be thrilled to spend thousands of dollars on a Bar Mitzvah ceremony so that my kid could stand in front of his relatives and read his Livejournal out loud:
Going by the looks of the parents though, they seem to believe they've raised the wisest and most insightful son in the world instead of a pisher who's too lazy to learn his parsha in Hebrew--or English.
Not as if the kid will ever be able to deny his Semitic heritage, anyway. Goddamn, look at that hair.
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| Hogwarts School of Copyright Infringement |
[01 Mar 2008|10:52am] |
From Yahoo News:
J.K. Rowling says she feels betrayed by a fan, Steven Vander Ark, for his role in trying to publish an unauthorized reference work, "Harry Potter Lexicon."
(...)
She was especially irked that the site's owner and the lexicon's would-be publisher, RDR Books, continued to insist that her acceptance of free, fan-based Web sites justified the efforts.
(...)
"If RDR's position is accepted, it will undoubtedly have a significant, negative impact on the freedoms enjoyed by genuine fans on the Internet," [Rowling] said. "Authors everywhere will be forced to protect their creations much more rigorously, which could mean denying well-meaning fans permission to pursue legitimate creative activities."
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| I am on the Internet, registering my disgust to the world. |
[28 Feb 2008|07:44pm] |
A friend of mine loaned me The Simpsons Movie a while back. We popped it into the DVD player and settled back after a brief argument about confectionaries ("I thought you were going to pop the corn?" "I thought you were. I always burn it." "I'm tired of always popping the corn." "Fine, nobody gets popcorn").
At about an hour into the movie, the DVD crapped out and froze. Our player is seven years old, so I just think it's had it. I said, "Well, we can finish the movie up on the Playstation 2."
It's been a week and we still haven't finished the movie.
I bet the reasons why will shock and astound you. Click the LJ cut if you can get your hand to stop shaking.
( Bah! Too hot! )
("It's...scalding me as we speak, sir.")
Great, I wasted an energy drink high typing all that out instead of doing something useful.
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| The Forbidden Moving Stairs |
[28 Feb 2008|10:25am] |
Otakon pre-reg opened up yesterday for the Press, so I imagine that it'll be open soon for mortals as well.
Holy shit, where is this year going? I still need to assemble my Ginko costume!
(NEEEEEEEEERD)
I don't think I'll be going as Press this year. I've "worked" at every single Otakon I've attended, and it puts a damper on the experience. I just want a few days off to rest. Granted, the Press pass is really handy for getting around because the Security peons don't stop you when you shove them aside and scream "Outta my way, obichan."
You can even use the escalators.
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| Gamepro fanfic |
[27 Feb 2008|12:38pm] |
I'm in the middle of writing chapter 33 of Trip Through Your Wires. I said to myself, "This part doesn't work," and sliced away about a thousand words. Wow, here I was thinking that I don't monitor my fanfics for quality anymore.
In other news, watch your news stands because I might be writing reviews for Gamepro. Nothing's definitive at this point: A trillion things could still go wrong. I hope it works out. I have something like seven years of old Gamepro magazines stuffed in my closet and they're multiplying and scheming to kill me. If I started writing for the magazine, I might be able to tame them.
(I can also infiltrate the publication and get cold, sweet revenge on Gamepro TV for spoiling Mega Man 4's ending for me 18 years ago, muahahaha!...Okay, no.)
More Awesome Stuff:
--I'm playing DragonQuest VIII.
--This:
I didn't make it, but I'm going to petition WHIMS to put it on everything from tanks of liquid nitrogen to boxes of Raisin Bran.
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| Neon Bible |
[23 Feb 2008|11:11am] |
 I checked out the Manga Bible the other day and it made me feel all tingly in certain parts of my body. Not because of the naked romping in the Garden of Eden, mind you: The Manga Bible is just a weird piece of work and it made my brain keel over. The pacing's bonkers, which probably isn't surprising since the Bible has some pacing issues under the best of circumstances. The dialogue is pretty out to lunch, too. I'm not an expert on ancient Semitic languages, but I'm pretty sure Abel did not ask Cain, "Wassup, bro?"
The art is...okay, well, that's Jesus there on the left. I'm also fairly certain I saw L in the rabble as Jesus died on the cross.
I haven't posted any of my work for a while, and I've decided it's time to suffer.
Gloob:
10 Greatest Anime Music Videos -- Thanks enormously to everyone who helped out with this one. I didn't think I'd find ten great anime music videos. Ha ha ha! You know what though, I think I should've excluded the "Right Now" parody. It's produced really well, but kind of obnoxious (Right Now, making fun of American anime fans is 50% less relevant than it was in 1999). I am totally in love with that Princess Tutu bit, though, and I have yet to see the anime. Though I didn't give it the #1 spot, I think my personal favourite is The Year 2525. It's put together extremely well and it had the chutzpah to use an old song. It also kind of wakes me up to the fact that anime has covered some weird and disturbing ground in order to fit the song so perfectly...
10 Best Game Commercials of 2007 -- This is a bi-product of something else I'm putting together for Future/Next Gen/I'm not sure who. I love Bioshock's commercial. Would watch again. Heck, maybe I will. Stuff like this makes me realise how few game commercials we get in Canada. Part of the problem is that shit like Rock Band comes to Canada on its own goddamn sweet time.
10 Best Sesame Street Songs -- I could probably add to this forever, though my absolute favourite Sesame Street song is one that I simply cannot find anywhere. Does anyone else remember an animated short about a baseball game in Central Park (the score was 3 to 2) that's interrupted by a shadowy stranger who turns out to be a fucking baseball superstar? It had really awesome techno-ish music. Not even the hallowed Sesame Street Archives has anything on the song.
10 Best '90s Cartoon Intros -- I found the intro for Nighthood/Les Exploits d'Arsene Lupin at the last possible second, and I had to add it to this list. Also added TinTin, because you can go to Hell if you don't think TinTin's awesome. You know what though, I looked high and low for the intro to Cybersix, and any videos I did find had been wrenched from the Internet ages prior. The one surviving version I found had no lyrics, so it makes me believe there's a copyright issue at work here. Too bad.
Column:
Sympathy for the Cosplayer
Live Action Akira & More Cosplay. Yargle blargle wargle piss, as Yahtzee might say.
Manga Reviews:
V.B. Rose
Minima!
Mushishi vol 3
Enjoy! I'm going to rot in front of the TV.
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| Where I Get It From, vol XVIIII |
[21 Feb 2008|09:33pm] |
My father and I don't have normal phone conversations:
"Hello?"
"Your mom had a terrible accident at work."
"Oh, did she."
"Yeah, she fell down the stairs and hit her head real hard."
"There are no stairs at mom's work."
"There's blood everywhere. She can't remember her name."
"Are you picking me up on Sunday at about 7:30 so I can take the cat to the vet?"
"Yes."
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| Runaway Train |
[19 Feb 2008|12:49pm] |
sheala23, rimestar...
Anyone seen these two fugitives?
They may be stalking the streets of your town, their cold minds calculating sick plans for your women...
Actually, I haven't talked to either in a long time and I'd like to.
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| Armageddon: Delicious and juicy. |
[18 Feb 2008|08:31am] |
What the fuck, Internet.
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| You may now process Dracula's McRib. |
[16 Feb 2008|06:12pm] |
The other day I was watching David play Castlevania II: Simon's Quest on the Virtual Console. He reached the town of Aldra and talked to one of those grey-suited knight dudes who trade crystals with you throughout the game.
Knight: "I'd like to exchange my red crystal for your blue crystal."
Me: "'I'd like to exchange my red crystal for your anal hymen.'"
David: "..."
Me: "You're just ignoring me now, aren't you?"
David: "It's easier."
Running on nostalgia, I found a webpage that helps players seperate Castlevania II's real clues from the infamous "prankster" clues:
"To restore your life, shout in front of the church."
False: You walk into the church and talk to the priest. The man who says 'shout' is an asshole.
And finally:
I'm amazed at how often I've played this game yet managed to miss a great moment in Engrish literature.
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| *fffssszzt* Oh no, my brains. |
[16 Feb 2008|12:03pm] |
IRONY:
Earlier, I was shuffling through some old scans_daily comments threads. I saw a post wherein one member called the artwork in the Scott Pilgrim series "incredibly ugly"--and she was representing herself with a Crayon Shin-Chan icon.
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| Lupin III's grandaddy |
[14 Feb 2008|11:53am] |
Sorry to YouTube your flist to death, but I found the intro to a French Canadian cartoon I used to watch in the '90s. Now I'm giddy. Oh shit, that music.
Also, Uncle Ghastly has captured the true meaning of Valentine's Day.
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| Holy shit I did not foresee the choice in music. |
[14 Feb 2008|09:22am] |
Dreamworks:
I just thought I'd remind you that you are located in a country of free expression. If, dear studio, you decide to upchuck another glossy computer-rendered story starring an assortment of furries, you do not have to choose between an epic voice cast or a script that's not packed with jokes that were hoary by 1997. You are allowed to employ both great actors and intelligent writing.
IT'S TOTALLY OKAY TO ASSUME KIDS AREN'T GIBBERING IDIOTS. YOU MAY SCRIPT ACCORDINGLY WITHOUT FEAR. I SWEAR ON MY HONOUR.
Just...kill that turtle.
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| STUCK |
[14 Feb 2008|01:52am] |
Man, how do all you game lovers / writers who are not owned by any company manage to afford GDC and what have you? I haven't been to a press event since E3 2006. I'm being given a lot of work these days, but so far no one's asked me to attend the trade show of the hour to dance for quarters in the lobby with my pants down. I can't go on my own because flying costs a trillion dollars. It's depressing because I'm getting bored with working at home day in and day out...though I imagine these endless snowstorms aren't deterring cabin fever.
Alternating between work, week-long crippling headaches and hibernation mode, the second draft of my novel is going way too slowly. I've actually reserached a couple of things; as it so happens, you can't pretend you know what you're talking about forever. I consulted a vet regarding the use of animal sedatives on people and halothane came up. That's when I remembered that halothane and the general use of animal medicines on people carries some seriously fucked up implications in Canada and I should stay far away. If the scene I had in mind was meant to be malicious, the controversy would be on my side. It is not.
I also discovered that it's pretty safe to fall asleep if you have a concussion. Initially, I cursed mightily because I thought this knowledge was going to wreck another scene, but then I had some fun. Spot the Stephen King reference if you can.
***
Celeste was sprung from the hospital late that afternoon and Jake drove home with one eye on the road and one eye on his daughter. She was semi-conscious, swaying with the motion of the car like a cobra in a basket. She responded to his small talk slowly, when she spoke at all. Jake supposed she was skimming the line between dreaming and waking, which worried him. The doctor had insisted that, contrary to the old wives tale, it was safe to let a concussion victim sleep. Still, Jake had been roughed up often enough to know that sleeping with a head injury could take you to bizarre, colour-splotched kingdoms that didn't give you up easily. The day after he'd won Angela's attentions and conceived Caillou, the thug she'd originally been with had initiated Round Two by jumping him in a 7-11 parking lot. Jake had held his own, but he spent the night drifting into dreams about duck ponds. Schaeffer had kept him from going in too deep by regularly slapping him with the same rolled-up magazine he used to correct his dogs.
***
I remain yours (bored, shut-in and angry with restlessness),
-Me.
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